We've had a fun-filled month - MiMi and Papa came to visit, and then PoPo and GongGong came to stay for a week. Nathan, you discovered the magic of saying "tick-or-tweeeet" - too bad it only works on 1 day of the the year.
Andrew - there are times when I absolutely know that you are my child. Those times include:
a) when you so politely request if you can have chocolate for dinner because you had a tough-luck day and don't feel well
b) in the morning when I am still half asleep and I put socks on your cold little feet
that don't quite match. Even if the socks are BOTH the same shade of off-white, but one has a 1/4" ridge and the other has 1/8" ridge, you will throw a hissy fit because they don't match.
And then there are times when I wonder who spawned this child.
Specifically, earlier this year when I rear-ended a cop and you told me
"Mommy, YOU HIT A POLICEMAN! You are in big trouble! You need to go home and go
to TIME OUT!"
It really wasn't THAT bad - I mearly tapped his car - in fact, there was absolutely no damage to either car. It was just too bad that I did this in FRONT OF 4 other policemen on a MAJOR street right in my neighborhood. This is the same major street that all my friends, enemies, associates, customers, co-workers and community leaders use precisely at 9:34 a.m. Of course at that time, I was driving the Digi-mobile which not only has a 2-foot logo of our company in bright yellow - but also our phone number on all sides of the truck.
The cop made me pull over for 40 minutes , while he ran my I.D. through CODIS, AFIS, FBI Most Wanted, and the national database of "mothers who let their kids eat candy for dinner for sole purpose of bribing them to behaving in public places"
In the meantime, my son questions me: "Mommy, why did you hit that policeman?" "Are you in trouble?" "Policeman is going to put you in a cave."
"Andrew, I didn't hit a policeMAN, it was a policeCAR."
As the cop came back to our car, he nodded over to Andrew in the back seat. At that precise moment, I knew I would be forever in deep shit. With that simple nod, he and my son had a mutual understanding, an unspoken male bond that communicated,
"Yes, I know officer. It is my duty to uphold the traditions of the brotherhood federation of police force world wide (the same damn brotherhood that calls your house twice a year asking for donations). I will punish my mother. I will make sure that she will never ever forget this day. This punishment will be far greater than any ticket you can give her."
"My son, May the force be with you."
So, now fast forward to present.....picture this:
Its dark, 7:30pm. Both kids in car. Full from nice dinner out. Husband driving in his car behind me.
Lonely dark stretch of Lorraine Road. On phone with husband to pass the time driving while
kids are quietly watching movie in back seat.
Husband: "Oh there's a cop! And he's making a U-turn going to catch someone."
Me: "What stupid idiot is making trouble?"
Me: "OH !(*#@&!(*%!@$!!!!"
(pull over, roll down window)
Officer: "Hi Ma'am. Did you know you were speeding?"
Me: "Hi officer. Yes, I know I was speeding. I am SO SORRY. Just trying to get the kids home."
Andrew: (very casually in an exasperated tone, without taking his eyes off the movie)
"Mommy, did you hit a policeman AGAIN???"
Me: (silently projecting) "SHUT THE *&@#$!!!-UP ANDREW"
Officer: (shines flashlight at Andrew in the back seat)
(very long awkward pause)
He let me go with just a written warning. I think he recognized Andrew from the Brotherhood
yearbook.
